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An Open Letter to My Son About Girls


An Open Letter to My Son About Girls

by Christy Johnson, Director of Communications and Enrollment

To My Wonderful Son,

It is with a bittersweet pride that I watch you begin to navigate your way into your teen years and all that entails.  Acne, body changes, deepening voice and of course girls.  What you are feeling is completely normal and a special gift from God. However, there is so much I want you to understand about this gift and what it means to be a man and care for a girl’s heart.  I want you to hear it from me first, the woman who loved you first and will love you always.

Son, girls are special. They think and feel differently from you in so many ways.  They are so much more than you can see on the surface.  This is important for you to understand.  Our society and culture is going to wage war on your heart.  It is going to tell you that girls are objects and that their worth can be found only in their looks and how they can make you feel.  This world will tell you that girls are toys for you to amuse yourself with and trophies to build your ego with. This is a lie and it is so important you understand how God and Jesus view women.  Being a real Man means never objectifying women.  Real men cherish women.

Jesus came to Earth and made women the heroes of his stories.  Christ never talked ugly of women; he never lusted after women with his eyes or made crude comments.  He offered nothing but respect and grace to women.  He rescued broken women from abuse and offered them hope.  He saw the value and dignity in all women, even those brought low by their circumstances.  Jesus did all of this while being scorned by other men for offering hope and kindness to these broken and hurting women.  Jesus told us loud and clear how precious God thinks girls are.  They are to be valued, respected, cherished and protected.

Here is the deal.  The world is hard on women.  It tells us our value is in our looks.  It tells us our value is in how we make men feel.  It is a lie that all women have to deal with. These lies break us women and shape us women and leave scars on us no one can see.  These precious girls you are talking to are dealing with all of these issues right now.  You can’t see it and they won’t show it to you but they are being hurt and confused by the lies that our culture is feeding them through television, magazines and social media.  My darling boy, Christ is charging you with helping to care for their hearts and not to break them further.  Let Jesus and the Bible guide you in how to view and value girls.  Let Christ be the vessel you view girls through, not what you see on television, magazines and social media.

Your peers will also pressure you to see girls as a means to an end, objects to be made fun of and for quick meaningless pleasure to be taken from.  Girls are made for so much more than to be treated this way.  Being a Godly Man means when the world pressures you to conform you remain strong in Christ and Truth.  You stand firm in knowing that quick words and actions said in jest can damage a girl’s heart in more ways that you can ever comprehend.  You stand firm in not conforming but reforming. You be a light to a broken girl’s heart.  Always remember, there is so much more to a person than you can see.  You cannot see the pain and scars on a girl’s heart. She may act on the outside one way but inside she may be crying and screaming tears of pain, so raw, you can’t even imagine.  She may be in so much pain she acts immodest.  Son, this is not an excuse for you to take advantage.  You are responsible for your actions and for pursuing holiness.  Show her what it means to be a Godly man.  You may be the only one she has ever met.

My sweet boy, guard your heart.  In doing so, you guard the hearts of all the girls you know.  Know your value in Christ.  He has made you for so much joy and freedom.  However, that joy and freedom can only be found through Him and his path. Following the things the world says are good can only lead to hurt and bondage.  God has a girl our there for you.  She is growing and maturing just like you.  It is hard to do right now but I challenge you to think of her as you talk and socialize with other girls.  Treat all girls, as you would want your very special girl being treated.  Don’t let a minute of pleasure be the cause of a lifetime of regret.  The physical relationship between a man and woman is good, holy and fun!  Don’t pollute it by making it meaningless. Don’t hurt your heart, your future wife’s heart or any present girl’s heart by taking a Holy thing and making it cheap.  Pursuing holiness won’t be easy but then nothing worthwhile is easy.  Always remember, real men treasure women.  Real men respect women.  Real men value women.

Know you are loved by this woman more than you will ever know!